Thanksgiving

Yesterday was Thanksgiving. I spent it with some friends and had a great time, but we didn't observe a tradition I've come to enjoy the last few years. You see, I like it when we go around the table and everyone talks about something they have been thankful for in the last year. So, because I didn't get to do it on the actual day, and since I am the only one around this particular table at the moment, here is a partial list of the things I am thankful for.

1. Health. Really, if you don't have this, everything else doesn't matter all that much. I have had a good year, in general. I give thanks for decent health care, including the flu shot and whooping cough vaccine that helped me out. Also, I'm grateful to have a lifestyle that allows me to sleep a respectable amount of hours every night, eat food that's good for me (not all the time, though), and moderately exercise.

2. A Network of Supportive Family and Friends. From the time I was born, I was blessed with a family who supports me, no matter how kooky my choices may seem. As I have gotten older, I have had the luxury of surrounding myself with people who have a positive influence on me and who I enjoy spending time with. Also, in the last few years, I've gotten better at asking for and accepting help from the people who love me.

3. A Job. We all know it's crap out there now. It's getting better, sure, but it has been a load off my mind to have a job that not only pays the rent and bills, but that I actually enjoy doing.

4. Writing. So, after finishing my second novel a year ago, I've done absolutely nothing to get it out there. Still, I'm keeping at it. Over the summer, I wrote quite a bit of a new novel and I've been working on this academic book I have a contract(!) for. I still hold out hope for the day when I can teach a little less and write a little more. And when I have an agent (or the time to find one).

5. Conferences. One of my favorite ways to travel. I love visiting a new city for the first time because I'm attending a conference there. About a month ago, I got to go to Indianapolis for the AMS, and I know Indiana doesn't sound like Vegas, but I'd never been there before (and probably wouldn't have ended up there any other way), and I thought it was charmant!

6. Me Lunches. On days when I don't have classes to teach, sometimes I like to take myself out to lunch. People do this every day, I understand, but I've been packing my own lunch for years. I figure I deserve lunch out once in a while. And I like to indulge whatever whim I have. If that means driving a few extra miles to get to the particular restaurant where I want to eat, so be it.

7. Football. American and European. I've been enjoying most of USC's season (but Oy, Oregon), but there have been some heartbreakers too. I also loved the World Cup this summer. I really enjoy watching my teams play.

8. My New Apartment. I can walk to work. Need I say more? Also, there's just a zen-like peace that goes along with the place. I have no idea why. It's just instantly calming when I walk inside.

9. Boardwalk Empire. I just. I love this show. Everybody in it is excellent, and I really love that the characters talk like people did back then. Nucky called someone "Johnny on the spot" a couple of weeks ago. That rocks!

10. Crafts. I made Halloween lollipops this year and I hope to do the same for the December holidays. Also, I spent many hours today making my holiday cards. There is something very soothing about designing and creating something and then sharing it with people you love.

Too Much Stuff

When all of your belongings are in closets, tucked away on shelves, or in cabinets, it's hard to assess how much stuff you actually have. When you have to pack everything into boxes, however, you suddenly realize that you've been accumulating stuff without even realizing it. I moved about a month and a half ago. Once again, I was surprised at how many boxes were required to do the job. And I was actively trying to get rid of stuff, for many reasons. First, all of my previous moves in California were into successively bigger apartments, and as everyone knows, the more space you have, the more space you use. My latest move was a lateral one. The square footage of the old and new apartments ended up being about the same, although the rooms are different sizes. I needed to get rid of some furniture that just wouldn't work in the new place. Second, I started to question just what I needed to own, and what I could do without.

I thinned out my book collection and donated the music books to my school library. I gave the rest to Goodwill. I thinned out my CD collection, trading about 150 in at Amoeba. I recycled old magazines, and finally donated of the clothes I never wear anymore. It was such a great experience to feel that I was freeing myself of these possessions, but that they were perhaps going to help other people. (They also weren't going to end up in a landfill.) Maybe some young woman with a job interview will find that cute purple suit at Goodwill. Maybe some student at LACC will take one of those donated books out of the library and decide they want to study Music History. It could happen!

The most unexpected thing about doing all this donating was a shift in my own perspective about buying new things. There are a couple of things I've been buying used for years. If I'm buying a CD (and not downloading from iTunes), I go to Amoeba first. If I want to buy a book, I buy used from alibris and private sellers on Amazon and Barnes and Noble. But I'm trying not to buy books at all. I already have too many. Don't get me wrong, I love books. I love them so much, but that doesn't mean that I have to have a library full of books in my living room--we actually have libraries to keep books for us. Books are heavy and hard to move. And even thinning out my collection to just the books I think I need (for research and program notes) and my favorites, I still have 2 and a half big bookcases full! I also don't feel I need a physical CD of music unless it has special artwork or something unique.

I used to buy all of my electronics new, but when I needed to replace a camera, the internet made it easy to find a good used camera for a fraction I would have paid for a new one. But it's not so much that price is an issue, although it's wonderful to save money, it's the idea that I'm using something that's already out there. In my humble opinion, there's just too much stuff out there already. I have too much stuff, you probably have too much stuff. And for what? What do we need it all for?

I'm getting to the place where I can justify my ownership of the things I have. I need these books for research, for example. Or I keep only the clothes I wear frequently. But I think I still have too much. I know I'm going to move a few more times before I settle some place I'm going to stay. But also, even if I move into a big house ten years from now, will I really need to fill it with crap? Even if I live to be a hundred, someone's going to have to figure out what to do with my stuff after I die. I want that to be an easy job.

There are two more issues that I need to weigh in on. One is the idea that we're moving towards a Cloud-based information system. In a Cloud-based system, all of your information lives "on a cloud" that you can then access. All of your documents and pictures and music won't sit on your hard drive anymore or on paper in file cabinets. They'll be accessible from anywhere. I like this idea, but I'm wary about Cloud security, although I'm all for keeping digital versions of things rather than cluttering things up with paper versions. Less clutter is a wonderful thing.

Second, if I ever decide to have a kid, all bets are off. Kids need a lot of stuff. I can be positively austere, but I'm not going to limit a child to two bibs and three toys. As the kid grows up, we can donate the toys she doesn't play with (okay, she can keep some special favorites). We can give away the clothes that he has outgrown. Maybe I will raise a child who doesn't feel like she needs to own a lot of things. And when I die, she'll keep a few of my treasured possessions and give the rest away. The most important things I would want to leave a kid are good memories and good lessons from me. And maybe my Harry Potter books.

Jack of All Trades

Last week, I went to the national conference of the American Musicological Society. If you are a musicologist or a musicology grad student, the AMS national meeting is the place to be. I've been to about five or six of these things so far, both when I was a grad student and after I got a full time job. When I was a grad student, in the midst of figuring out my dissertation topics, I went to all different kinds of papers to see what other folks were researching. I thought about music and sociology, music and semiotics, and just about everything else that sounded even remotely interesting. As I was finishing up my degree, I went to AMS meetings to schmooze with people at schools where I applied for jobs. This was a very big deal. I chose my wardrobe with extreme care, wanting to seem professional, but also approachable. I went to all the parties and tried to meet all of the people whose names I had seen on book covers. I talked to people after their papers and asked questions, exchanged information, and sent follow-up emails. I was desperate to make connections. My grad school buddy and I tore through the University parties like two women on a mission, making it rain business cards in our wake.

AMS meetings, post-doctorate, post-job, and post-tenure are an entirely different affair. The stress is gone. I dressed nicely, of course, but I didn't worry if I looked like I was trying too hard. If a set of papers seemed interesting, I went. If I didn't care about the paper topics (because I've already chosen my research area and written my dissertation), I didn't go. I met some people at parties, but I could be so much more casual because I didn't have to meet them. In short, I moved to a different place in the hierarchy. I sat back a bit and watched the grad students jockey for position in the party clusters. I chatted with my former professors in a purely social way. They were happy to see that I'd gotten myself a job and tenure, and I was happy to see they were thriving as well. No awkward questions about how many interviews I'd snagged in the previous year, no wondering about what next year's crop of jobs would look like.

One afternoon, my grad school buddy--who I never get to see except at these meetings--was going to a study group meeting for Music and Philosophy. I was intrigued, so I went along. After listening to the discussion for a while, I knew that I wanted to stay in my own area of study rather than branching out into this realm. When the sign-up sheet for an internet discussion group came around, I passed it along instead of putting my email on it. Now, that might not seem like much to you, but to me, it was huge. And it was a testament to how far I had come. I didn't have to throw myself into this. I realized I already had a career, an area of expertise, and I could (and can) pick and choose how I want to spend my time.

As a grad student, the range of options to specialize in is so vast, it can be paralyzing. And besides choosing something you actually like to learn about, you also wonder if you're choosing an area that will be popular for years to come, or if it will fall out of favor with the general community. Most of us start out putting our eggs in many baskets, or betting on more than one horse, if you prefer horse racing metaphors. We make a big decision when we choose our dissertation topics because they define us, but only temporarily. The dissertation, daunting as it may seem, is just one research project in a career that will hopefully be full of them. It's so easy to get lost in the choosing and the schmoozing that it's hard to foresee a time when every choice and interaction won't be such a big damn deal.

It happened, though. It happened for me. I might one day go back on the job market, looking for a musicology job somewhere, but until that time, I remain one of the lucky ones. In horse racing terms again, since I have my degree, a job, and tenure, I feel like I won the Trifecta.

The stories behind the albums

Sorry about the long hiatus, but I am indeed back and better than ever. Today, I did a thing on Facebook that a friend tagged me to do forever ago. It's a list of 15 albums that will always stick with you. You're supposed to think of them quickly, in no more than 15 minutes. As I was compiling my list today, I realized that there were stories behind the albums. And of course, I wanted to tell those stories. So here they are.

1. Everclear - So Much for the Afterglow. I came to love this album during a particularly turbulent and amazing time. I was single, living with my two roommates in Brooklyn (and later Queens), teaching middle school by day, and maintaining a heroic partying schedule by night. The album had a song for every mood, and it inspired me to start writing my first novel...which I then finished seven years later.

2. B-52s - Cosmic Thing. This was the last album I bought on vinyl. It came out when I was in high school and I listened to it constantly. Different songs on this album remind me of different people. "Love Shack", for example, reminds me of Heather, while "Deadbeat Club" reminds me of Michele and how we wore those togas at her birthday party that time. I love many of the B-52s' albums, but this one probably shows their best musicianship and is certainly the cleanest production of the lot. I love this album because the good high school memories it stirs up are incredibly strong.

3. The Smiths - The Queen is Dead. I gotta thank my sister for this one. She had the album (again, on vinyl) and she told me it was a good one. I made a tape of it so I could listen on my Sony Walkman (God, I am OLD), and it was a revelation. Morrissey's lyrics, Johnny Marr's guitar...guh. So freaking good. I started listening to the Smiths in eighth grade, so when everyone else was going nuts for "Pour Some Sugar on Me," I was listening to songs that mentioned Keats and Yeats and I felt smart and cool.

4. Little Shop of Horrors Soundtrack (1986 film version). I liked the movie and I loved the music and I listened to this album a lot, as only a musical theater geek can. But the notable thing about this album--at least to me--was that it was the first music I can remember hearing very clearly in my head. Of course I could imagine music before this, but my mind's ear must have been starting to develop at this time, and I was flat out amazed at how much detail of this music I could recreate in my head. That skill is probably one of the reasons I became a musician.

5. Pixies - Velouria Live. In relationships, it's important for people to feel that there are some things that belong only to them. This album was one of those things for me. At the time I acquired it, I needed something I didn't share with my significant other and this album became that. I love the Pixies so much, and when I hear "Wave of Mutilation," my soul sings in utter joy.

6. Muse - Absolution. This album just blew me away. It is beautiful and complex and interesting, and even after listening to it a whole lot of times, I still keep finding new things to love about it. It is a complete soundscape, and it is thoroughly a work of art from first note to last.

7. Mindless Self Indulgence - Frankenstein Girls Will Seem Strangely Sexy. This album was a doorway to another world. Once again, it was something that belonged only to me and that was a precious thing at the time. Also, I really like the music and the lyrics often make me laugh because they are ridiculous.

8. Coldplay - A Rush of Blood to the Head. Coldplay is everybody's whipping boy, but y'all can eat it because this is a great album. Not only are the songs beautifully crafted, but at the time I got it as a gift, the album really felt like the soundtrack to something I was reading at the time. I got swept up into this story, and the music just seemed to make the sweeping all the more intense. My imagination woke up and I started writing a lot. It was a really good thing for me.

9. Red Hot Chili Peppers - Mother’s Milk. Picture it: High school. Mary's boyfriend Alex--who was much older than all of us--had the poster for this album up on his wall. I got the cassette tape and listened to it a whole lot. We used to have sing-alongs in Heather's car to "Knock Me Down" and we wrote alternate lyrics to "Subway to Venus." I know everybody likes Blood Sugar Sex Magik better, but for me, the Red Hots peaked with Mother's Milk and "Breaking the Girl" (from Blood Sugar Sex Magik). You can keep everything that happened afterwards. Please keep it. No, seriously, I pretty much hate all of it after this.

10. Michael Jackson - Thriller. OMG, this album was important to me. I was barely 10 when it came out and it just freaking owned. I loved the songs and the videos. Especially "Thriller." That video was amazing. And if you asked me right now, I'd be able to recite all of Vincent Price's "Rap" from the end of the song. I could probably also do a passable version of the Thriller dance from the video.

11. Pittsburgh Symphony Orchestra - Gershwin’s Rhapsody in Blue. They're not the greatest orchestra in the world, but they played a pretty decent Rhapsody in Blue. They do a repeat that no one else ever does so since I got this album when I was about 12, I always expect to hear that repeat. This piece made me want to understand the way music worked. I get it now.

12. Temple of Doom Soundtrack - Christmas of 1984, my sister and I received this cassette as a gift. I listened to it for months. I was fascinated by the sound of the orchestra and I was fairly obsessed with the Chinese version of "Anything Goes." I used to tap dance to the instrumental interlude in my basement. Yes, I was/am that dorky.

13. South Park: Bigger, Longer, Uncut Soundtrack. I couldn't believe how good this movie was. And I couldn't believe how perfectly Trey Parker and Marc Shaiman had captured different styles of musical numbers. A few years ago, I actually did an academic paper on the use of musical parody in this movie. Also, I can sing you "La Resistance (Medley)" all by myself. It's great for long car trips.

14. Fatboy Slim - You’ve Come a Long Way, Baby. Back in the 90s, I heard this and thought: this is the future of music and I am cool with that! I used to listen to it on my way to my job at the middle school in Brooklyn. The first song reminds me of being on the train as it went over the Manhattan Bridge as the sun was coming up over the city.

15. Beastie Boys - To the Five Boroughs. A musical ode to New York City. There is stuff referenced on this album that only New Yorkers would know, so listening to it feels like being in an exclusive club. The album cover features a beautiful drawing of Manhattan including the Twin Towers. The BBs address a lot of post 9/11 feelings and attitudes, praising the city for its resilience. I published a paper on this album a couple of years ago. To the Five Boroughs is funny as hell in places. That Adrock, he still cracks me up.

Fooling Cars

I drive a fair amount and I see my share of joggers and runners. I've noticed that they're always running. They're never stopped on the side of the road, breathing heavily. They're never walking because their hearts are about to explode. But when I go running, half the time I'm doing one of those things. I hate to think that all these random people I see on the street are better runners than me. I mean, I've been doing this for a couple of months now and I'm still not able to run continuously for the entire time I'm out. I can't wait for the day that I start running and don't have to stop until I say it's time. I'm so not there yet.

So...I came up with an idea.

Now, what I do when I run is, I fool cars. I run as much as I'm able, of course, but I try not to stop when I'm running past a car, or when a car is stopped at a light. This way the car thinks that I've been running the whole time, and that I'll continue running long after it's driven off. If I can't actually be one of those amazing runners, at least I can fool cars into thinking that I am one of them.

There may come a time when I don't have to resort to subterfuge when I'm running. When I can run for as long as I want without having to stop and catch my breath. In the meanwhile, I'll push myself to keep pounding the pavement when a car is waiting at the stop sign. I can't fool them all, but I can get some of them.

I know this blog is shorter than usual, but at the risk of drawing the wrath of pun-haters everywhere: I've got to run. :)

The Me Who Drinks Tea

I don't drink coffee. I never have. My mother once said to me that I would develop a taste for it, especially in college when one is generally expected to stay up all night cramming for exams or finishing papers. Not only did I never develop a taste for coffee, I never actually pulled an all-nighter in college. Even on nights I was up late working, I'd sleep for a while and wake up early to finish, but even that was a rare occasion.

A couple of years ago, I had a job that was more work than I could have possibly imagined. The deadlines were tight and the turnaround time for my assignments was non-existent. I stayed up all night working, and I used a caffeinated tea for those all-important jolts of both energy and that feeling of well-being that makes you think you can really get it all done. The only other time I use tea for a quick pick-me-up is when I'm traveling and jet-lagged.

I prefer to drink tea (decaf or herbal) when I'm relaxing. I like to drink it after a meal or when I'm sitting talking to a friend. Tea forces me to slow down because I have to wait for it to cool and I can't just chug it down. I like mint tea after a meal or chamomile close to bed-time. I like fruity flavored teas during the day, or just plain Lipton. I have plenty of tea on hand at both work and home, but I don't often make the effort to put a cup of water into the microwave for a few minutes, mostly because I know I'll have to wash the cup. How ridiculous is that? I should get one of those electrical tea kettles and just plug the stupid thing in when I'm having office hours and make myself a cup of tea. I should bring a clean cup in from home and take it back at the end of the day for washing in my kitchen sink. What's so hard about that?

I like the me who drinks tea. I like the introspective, non-rushing version of me. I don't have a daily ceremonial beverage like everyone's "first cup of coffee," nor do I have a beer or a scotch when I get home after work. All day long I drink water out of a refillable metal bottle, and I rarely stray from that. I drink orange juice maybe once a week. Same with beer. It would be nice to sit and drink a cup of tea in the afternoon--every afternoon--like the British do. A lovely ceremonial drink that makes you slow down for a moment. I don't know about you, but I think my day could use slightly more ceremony in it.

The DecaAwesome List Strikes Back

It's been a while since I did one of these, and since I am feeling saucy and sassy today, it's about time I shared some good vibes.

1. Yan-Yan. Delicious Asian snack consisting of cookie-like sticks you dip into flavored cream. I've tried chocolate and vanilla so far. Strawberry is next. Best part: the weird messages on the cookies. There's Horse Gallop Away, Chick Lucky Colour Yellow, Owl Only at Night, and Squirrel Your Best Friend. I'm sorry, what? Eating words that make no sense is delicious!

2. Dr. Scholl's Ball-of-the-Foot cushion inserts. I know, this one really shows my age, but they're so damn comfortable! I have some in two pairs of shoes. Definitely reduces slippage and slidage, and makes walking around all day much more pleasant. 

3. Skype. Saw my two grandmothers on Easter, my parents, Cat and the new baby, and even my gorgeous nieces. It's like being there.

4. The Julia Child part of Julie and Julia. Like many people who have reviewed this film for me, I loved the Julia Child parts the best. The Amy Adams parts were good too, but sometimes I felt like smacking the character. Julia's relationship with her husband was particularly inspiring. Such a supportive, loving man she married. I should be so lucky!

5. Sous-chef-ing. After many years of reluctant cooking (I don't find it especially comforting or relaxing), I suddenly find myself in the role of sous-chef to my roommate, who cooks rather well. I have also found that I have a knack for cutting things up, not just chopping, but slicing, dicing, and yes, butchering. As the granddaughter of a butcher, I seem to have the talent for meat-cutting in my blood. I'm supposed to say something threatening here like, 'so watch out!' but I won't. Oh wait, I just did.

6. Exercise. Yes, I do feel more energetic, thank you very much.

7. My new steamer. It cooks rice and vegetables beautifully. To me, there is nothing lovelier than white rice and steamed broccoli. Yummy.

8. New academic projects. I might have the opportunity to write an academic book that no one will actually read, and I am totally psyched at the possibility. You can take the girl out of school, but you can't take the nerdiness out of the girl.

9. New fiction projects. I just started a new novel. It's the most ambitious thing I've tried so far. I don't know if I will succeed, but I'm sure gonna give it the ol' college try.

10. Love. I had a rough day this past week. I was feeling discouraged and impatient, and my friends and family were there with loving words, hugs and kisses from the people geographically close, and supportive comments from the folks on Facebook. I'm so pleased I've given enough good in the world to receive these dividends back when I need them.

Bonus:

11. The guy who told me that scientists don't know anything about gravity because they don't take Karma into account. Hee. You made my day.